Give me strength.

Staying late up until this midnight is not what I want. I actually felt so sleepy. But I suddenly thought of something and it was about him going to leave to Tuaran very soon. This laptop has been turned off for awhile just after I went to bed. I search for songs in my phone for me to listen to until I fell asleep. There is this song, which is a sad song, and both of us just simply love this song lately. I just couldn't hold myself and I cried. It was stupid. I was like "I can do this." before and now I was knocked down completely for no reason. He will be going there for just 3 months and why am I need to be this weak? Maybe it was the atmosphere that surrounded me just now. It was late at night of course, so it was dark and cold in my bedroom. The situation suddenly became quiet. I just felt like I wanted a warm hug, so that I can sleep soundly. Plus, the song playing in the middle of the night, I just couldn't stop myself from being such an emotional person. I guess I was the only one in this world exactly at this time that being so emotional now. It is not easy for me though, I don't have my best friends around so I always feel lonesome. Back then in school, they were my happiness. I always advise my friends, whenever they feel sad, try to figure out what are the things that they can do to make themselves forget all of their sadness. I just knew that their presence is the only thing that could make me forget all of my sadness. And now, without them, I just don't know what to do.

Just a boring update.

As usual I met him today and we have made a lot of crazy stuffs, like we used to do every time.

My current plan for the first 3 months of year 2013 is to get a part-time job. For now, I have not found any job yet. The main factor is that I have no friend at all, I am too afraid to do the part-time job alone by myself as it is my first experience to do it. I am so desperate in finding some pocket money for myself since I am so poor now. Actually I have been complaining this to my mom so many times but she just kept her mouth shut, no response at all. I just could not move on with this life without money.
After all, seeing my brothers managing their school stuffs such as their new trendy school bags, pencil boxes, school uniforms and school shoes made me smile for awhile. I started missing school and the teachers. I soon realized that I will be going through a wonderful journey that exposes the real world. I finally will move on to the next step after secondary school! Long story short, I just can't wait to be exposed to the new world.

Besides, I'm still counting on the days until the National Service program. 8 days to go!

Nevertheless, our 9th monthsary is around the corner hahaha it feels so good!

I am so glad that both of us had reached to this far. I feel like this relationship I had now is the most wonderful thing that ever happened. Being with him I feel like I am always in a protection. Though my friends always remind me to not have high expectations on this relationship that we had (they are really true!) but I believe that if both of us appreciate each other, there is nothing we can't handle.

I just hope that everything went well on what both of us have now ♥
Good night fellas, until then.

Really going to miss you.

It will be 10 days from today until the National Service program, which is on 5th January of 2013. It is not me who will be going to the program. It was him. I cannot describe this feeling I have now very well, but I am pretty upset about this thing. Not going to see him for 3 months, although I will be there (I had promised) with his family to visit him, it is not easy for me.
I just met him this evening. When he drove me home, I suddenly thought of this, which nearly made me burst into tears. Since the radio in the car was turned on completely loud that my breath couldn't be heard, I hold it very hard.
I just promised myself that I won't make things that upset him, or make him angry, and etc. The program is around the corner, the time we have now to meet each other can be counted with my own fingers. I met him many times lately. And before the day the program is held, I will try my best to make him happy, I swear I will not mad at him just for a simple thing. I'm going to create the sweetest memories with him before the day of the program. Please know that I always will be there to love you, even if I do not say 'I love you'. And I am going to miss you all the time! And I will be waiting for you after the end of the program with an open arms. It is just 3 months long, we can make it, it is not a big deal isn't! I love you.

I will be there waiting for you and play the thumb fight together, like we always do all the time. :)